Picture this… you go out with your lovely date for the first time. You are having the time of your life and your date seems to enjoy it as much as you do.
Everything goes so well and you are almost planning your wedding already.
But then he disappears. Like, the ghosted-kind of disappear.
You are probably texting your besties trying to figure out WHAT WENT WRONG. Yeah, maybe he died after an accident. That’s the only reasonable explanation.
Of course, he didn’t have an accident. The only thing that dies here is the potential relationship because you may have (or not) hit one of his dating deal-breakers.
Want to know some of the most common dating red-flags that might have pushed him away?
Cut interviewed 100 people about their worst date experiences. Some of them are so easy to be ignored but you will totally want to avoid them on the next date night.
Let’s check them out.
1. The Distracted
When you are on dates, your companion expect your full attention.
You do too, right?
It’s not difficult to imagine how turned off your date would be if he notices you getting distracted by others.
He may just straight-up assume that you are not interested in him and start to come up with a decent exit plan.
What To Do Instead:
Sometimes we peek at other random people (or stuff) because we are lacking confidence to look straight at our date and try to avoid eye contact.
This might be mis-read as “distracted”. We get it. It can be really awkward to go 1-on-1 with someone you barely know.
To prevent this from happening, try to come up with some conversation starters to give your date night a “soft landing” (here are 27 conversation starters that may help).
If you spot a hot guy (or gal) that you are really interested in, WAIT until your date’s officially over. Prince Charming ain’t going nowhere for a couple minutes. Make an excuse and call it an end if you can’t wait.
2. Going Crazy
This one is pretty much the opposite to the first scenario.
It’s good to be highly engaged in the date itself. But it doesn’t mean to really get engaged on the first night when you two merely know each other.
Pushing too hard on the first date will (normally) scare people away. It’s like you are ambushing them with despair and over-the-top romance.
What To Do Instead:
Dating (especially the first dates) is all about getting to know each other, to see if you “tick” with the one sitting in front of you.
If you feel a strong connection between you two, that’s a GOOD THING!
But don’t lose your cool yet. It takes so much for a relationship to work. Keep that in mind so enjoy the time exploring possibilities or simply observing.
Try to bring up the idea of a second date by asking something like “Steakhouse next time?“. If he’s not an idiot, he will know that you enjoy the night and are ready for the next date.
Want to be fully prepared for your next date night? Grab your First date checklist:)
3. Getting Totally Drunk
Hmm…We are not against drinking. And actually it’s not a bad thing to get a sip or two.
It calms your nerves and relaxes your jitters.
But getting TOTALLY drunk is another thing.
A date is supposed to be a chance for two to talk and get to know each other.
When you are drunk, you no longer fully control how you behave and how you talk. That’s when crazy things happen (and you won’t even remember).
What To Do Instead:
Can’t live without alcohol? A glass of cocktail won’t ruin the night. Just don’t get wasted. Try to leave the rest of the menu for the next date.
4. Criticizing Or Bad-mouthing Others
When you meet a person for the first time, you won’t know everything he/she hates or loves. So it’s better to keep the judgements to yourself.
Don’t say anything bad about your ex(s) as well. It is an indicator that you are still not over your previous relationship and may be emotionally unavailable.
What To Do Instead:
Keep your negative personal opinions to yourself.
Sometimes we talk about things we hate because we don’t know what else to talk about.
If you have problems coming up with topics, try to talk about things you love, things you enjoy doing or simply ask him to share his life.
It won’t hurt if he’s the one doing more of the talking, just make sure you respond in a decent way. Not the “Yeah”, “Oh” one-word way.
5. Making It All About You
Can’t stop talking? Not a good sign.
You may feel good about having a “good” listener for a whole night. But dating is no a one man/woman show.
Talking too much will eliminate your chance to know more about your date. And it may tag yourself as a narcissist if all you do is self-bragging.
And you know how people deal with narcissists. They run away.
What To Do Instead:
Learn to listen.
A date night may last for 1 or 2 hours. When you feel like you’ve been talking for minutes in a row, STOP THERE.
Begin to ask questions. And listen. And respond.
It may seem difficult if you are used to talking al the time. But trust us, the more you practice, the better you will be.
6. Money money money!
Should you split bills on the first date or should one of you paying for them?
We sure hope we can look up the “Bible of dating etiquette” to search for the answer. (Stop right there, we hear you searching.) But honestly, there’s no right or wrong answers.
In most cases, it’s a safer way to split bills or take turns to pay unless one offer to pay for the night. But if it’s like less than $10, come on…
What to do instead:
If you don’t want to spend too much on the first date (and you shouldn’t actually), you can always consider some budget date ideas.
Going for a walk in the park, doing some volunteer work together, these activities merely involve money but are still great fun to do.
Our Final Thoughts
Most dates fail because of the tiny things. Always make sure that you talk and behave properly. Don’t crash under pressure either. Just be yourself and have fun.
Watch the full video here
What about your worst date night experience? Leave it in the comment down below:)