Feeling nervous before the first date? You are not the only one. When we meet someone for the first time, everything seems to make us a bit jittery.
And it’s not a bad thing. It somehow brings out our best game. But if the nerves are too intense, this happen:
So, to help get your nerves out of the window, we’ve put together 8 first date relaxing tips from experts.
Try implementing these stress relieving techniques, you may find yourself more at east and confident on your next date night out.
#1 Take Advantage Of A Pre-date
Dating could be nerve-wracking. To calm your nerves, a little distraction can come in handy. The simplest way is to get yourself busy.
Spending time with friends or doing things you enjoy will instantly turn on your relaxed mode, according to dating coach Jane Garapick. “You won’t be stressed getting ready but you also won’t have time to obsess over the little things”, she added in her blog post.
#2 A Make-Or-Break List
Dating is not about making yourself look good. It’s a process where two people get to know each other better. To have a successful and enjoyable date, it’s a must to understand your standard, or so as to say, your own make-or-break list.
By creating your own list, “you focus more on asking yourself if he is good enough for you, rather than the other way around”, said Dr. Seth Meyers, psychologist and author of Overcome Relationship Repetition Syndrome and Find the Love You Deserve.
You can start sorting it out by listing the non-negotiable qualities and the absolute deal-breakers.
Be flexible anywhere in between and you will be able to clear the cobweb in your head. When your thoughts are organized, your stress goes away.
Want to enjoy a hassle-free first date? Follow this first date prep checklist to get everything ready:)
#3 Pick A Familiar Location
If you feel anxious about going out on a date, you don’t want to push yourself too hard at a time. Instead, you will have a smaller chance of freaking out if you have something familiar to hold on to, like the place you date.
“Your favorite coffee shop, for instance, or a nearby restaurant where you’re well versed in the menu”, psychologist Kimber Shelton suggested in Huffington Post.
And by suggesting a location, you immediately take off the burden from your date’s mind as well. If you don’t have any go-to spots for dates, go explore places around! You will for sure find the perfect place for a sweet date.
#4 Have A List Of Affirmations Or Mantras
When it comes to giving yourself a pre-date pep talk, nothing works better than affirmations. Affirmations work like an implant into our subconscious mind, which when repeated daily, turn into our own belief and then reality.
Dr. Diana Kirschner suggested in her Psychology Today article that reading out affirmations or mantras before a date will boost excitement and confidence.
“Try something like ‘I look awesome in this dress. My date will flip.’, she added.
☛ Related reading: 28 Affirmations That Boost Your Confidence To Nail Your Dates
#5 Tweak Your Focus
The source of dating anxiety of most people is the fear of making a fool of ourselves. Or you are just worrying about not performing well enough to match your date.
To cope with that, phycologist Stacey Rosenfeld told Huffington Post that we can shift the focus to the person we date, rather than on ourselves.
To cope with that, phycologist Stacey Rosenfeld told Huffington Post that we can shift the focus to the person we date, rather than on ourselves. During the date, ask yourself questions like: Do you like him? Do you share a common interest? Is he good enough for you? She suggested that by taking an active role rather than being passively chosen, it would take the stress of first date off your shoulder.
#6 Have A Back-Up Plan
If you are meeting a date for the first time, especially the only connection you have is texting for a few days on Tinder, chances are you don’t really know each other well and your date might be horrible.
So it’s always wise to have a backup plan (if not an escape-plan). “ If it’s not fun, don’t feel obligated to stay a long time.”, said Dr. Jordon Gray.
Plan ahead, make a list of exit excuses. Ask your friend to call you at a specific time. You can never lose with a Plan B.
#7 Work-It-Out
Working out before a date can massively reduce your stress level. The endorphin produced during exercise will make you feel happy and positive. Resistant training like weight lifting is best known for producing endorphin.
“A quick yoga or meditation stint for 10 minutes” will do too if a heavy weight isn’t your type, said Dr. Jordan Gray.
#8 One Glass Of Wine
If you are too tense before a date, get a glass of wine. According to L. Katz, M.D., the founding director of Yale University’s Prevention Research Center, wine can help to relax your body and mind and make you feel more confident.
Need some more dating tips? Check out what our editors have to say:
Bonus Tip #1 A Long Fragrant Bath
Add a bit of boost to by putting some essential oil in your bath. The heat will calm your nerves and your body will carry the soothing cent throughout the date.
Bonus Tip #2 Wear Smartly
You don’t need a fancy dress. Instead, pick an outfit you feel comfortable in, or one that makes you feel good in the past. Wearing it will very much likely to recall your happy memories and boost your confidence.
Bonus Tip #3 If he doesn’t like who you are, he’s not the one
Don’t try to fake anything. Just be yourself. You want a man who will love you for who you are, not who you pretend to be when you’re with him. Just be real, and what’s hard about that?
Bonus Tip #4 Avoid Dinner
Yep. Dinner is a little too formal and too long for meeting up with a total stranger.
It takes about 2 hours so you can’t really leave if you don’t feel cool about it.
Pick a park or a café, you only need a couple minutes to tell if he’s the one. Also, you don’t need to feel anxious about who’s paying the bills. No pressure. Nice and simple.
Bonus Tip #5 Take More Dates
Another effective way to conquer anxiety is to put yourself in constant exposure. Yes, that’s right. If you feel anxious about dating, just go dating more often!
You will probably feel much better the second time and totally a veteran for the third time. Allow yourself to have a good time and put the decision making later.
Are these de-stressing strategies working for you? Or do you have better advice? We love to know! Leave a comment down below to share with us!