We struggle to put the right title for this post. These ridiculous breakup reasons seem more like excuses. There’s always a deeper issue behind a relationship that falls apart. The straw that breaks the camel’s back is almost always something else.
When the truth is too ugly to tell, some may choose to hide it for good.
We’ve put together 18 ridiculous (yet hilarious) breakup reasons people tell when they desperately want to get out from a relationship.
If you are wondering how to break up with someone, these are the excuses to AVOID.
18 ridiculous (yet hilarious) breakup reasons
The Amnesia boyfriend
He told me the other day that he was so grateful for my support throughout a tough job search. Now he told me he wanted to focus on his new job so we are over.
The food problem
“She ate food from a gas station”.
Playing the self-pity game
“I am breaking up with you because I always know you are going to dump me anyway.”
The gamer
“Look, I like you and all but this is cutting into my WoW time.”
Busted!
Because she checked my phone when I was asleep.
The Fast and Furious girlfriend
The merging on highways stressed me out and I’d worry I couldn’t get in. My girlfriend got mad about this and broke up with me.
Let’s be completely honest
That was the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring….. except for me f*cking someone else.
The kiss not to forget
She was a vegetarian her mouth tastes like Bologna every time we kissed.
It’s not me. It’s the family.
“My family doesn’t want us to be together.”
The “Crazy in love” breakup
“Sometimes you act like crazy.”
The emotionally unavailable boyfriend
“You are being too serious about this relationship.”
The not-to-be-prank-on boyfriend
“You threw a goddamn spider at me.”
The workaholic
“You are too hardworking.”
The “my friend knows the best” breakup
“My best friend doesn’t like you. She told me to stay away.”
The ”Oops not my thing” girlfriend
“You play guitar really well. But I just don’t like music.”
The relationship that ends too soon
“Things are moving too fast for us. I want to take a break.” said to a guy who wanted to kiss her after dating for a month.
The “it’s not you, it’s me” breakup excuse
“I think I’m holding you back.”
A breakup reason that makes you wonder how the relationship even started.
“You are looking too young for me. “