36 Relatable Marriage Quotes For Every Spouse

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A list of quotes about marriage and married life to make couples laugh or cry.

A beginning or an end?

The argument towards the definition of marriage has existed for a long time. Some say that it is the end of love, romance and freedom, while some others insist that it is the beginning of a new life chapter.

Whether we want it or not, our life changes when we get married. 

All of a sudden, instead of sleeping diagonally on our bed, we learn to share it and fall asleep with another person snoring by our sides. Instead of ordering pizza to go with Netflix, we now have to cook and watch shows that we don’t necessarily enjoy. 

But marriage also gives us a warm hug, a helping hand, and a sympathetic ear. No matter how one enjoys being alone, having someone by our side will make our life more meaningful and less miserable. 

So what is marriage to you? How will you describe your married life? 

Struggling with words? Take a look at these funny yet inspiring marriage quotes and sayings. They will either make you laugh, regret or cherish your marriage even more. 


Marriage quotes: from hilarious to inspirational

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It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. 
– Friedrich Nietzsche

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Stop saying that marriage is just a piece of paper. So is money but you still get up every day and work hard for it.
– Unknown

Read also: 8 Most Ordinary Things That Boost Love And Reconnect You With Your Spouse

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Before marriage, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet, just to see who they really are.
– Unknown

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Listening to your wife is like reading Terms and Conditions of websites. You understand nothing, but still, you say:” I agree.”
– Unknown

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad.
– Helen Rowland

Marriage is when a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree, and a woman gets her Master’s Degree.
– Unknown

The most important four words for a successful marriage: “I’ll do the dishes.
– Unknown

Read also: 6 Easy Ways To Rekindle A Marriage And Keep Romance Alive

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
Socrates

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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
– Henny Youngman

Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.
– Ogden Nash

Marriage is not just spiritual communion. It is also remembering to take out the trash.
– Joyce Brothers

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Many people spend more time planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage.
– Zig Ziglar

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

My wife and I lived happily for twenty years…. then we met.

There’s no one else I’d rather go to couple therapy with.
– Unknown

I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now change your Facebook status.
– Unknown

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.
– Jane Austen

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You know it’s never fifty-fifty in a marriage. It’s always seventy-thirty, or sixty-forty.
– Jodi Picoult

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
– Katharine Hepburn

If I get married, I want to be very married.
– Audrey Hepburn

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Marriage is a lot like playing cards. You start out giving a heart and a diamond and end up wishing for a club and a spade.
– Markwonder

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he’s not the man she married?
– Barbra Streisand

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
– Groucho Marx

You can measure the happiness of a marriage by the number of scars that each partner carries on their tongues, earned from years of biting back angry words.
– Elizabeth Gilbert

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A great marriage is not when the “perfect couple” comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.
– Dave Meurer

A good marriage is where both people feel like they’re getting the better end of the deal.
– Anne Lamott

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Marriage (noun):
The #1 cause of divorce
– Unknown

Marriage is knowing each other’s buttons and pressing them repeatedly when bored.
– Unknown

Marriage is texting each other memes from different rooms.
– Unknown

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2 Golden Rules To A Happy Marriage:
#1 The wife is always right;
#2 When you feel she’s wrong, slap yourself and ready rule #1 again.

My husband and I have never considered divorce… murder sometimes, but never divorce.
– Joyce Brothers

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I love you more than I hate everything else.
– Rainbow Rowell

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
– Henny Youngman

I love my husband, but no matter where we are, I make him sleep closest to the door, so if anything happens, he gets murdered first.
Jessica Valenti

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The relationship between husband & wife is very psychological.
One is psycho, and the other is logical.

Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.


Do you enjoy these marriage quotes?

If you do, tell us the one that resonates with you! Don’t forget to share it with your spouse or on social media.

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